New Year. New Moon. New Intentions.
The Mama Museletter
Happy New Year, Mama!
I hope this edition of the Museletter finds you thriving and joyous after a fulfilling Holiday season. If you're like me, you're probably looking forward to getting back into a rhythm after a few weeks of not knowing what day (or time) it is. School starts back up for us next Monday, as does my twice a week babysitter. Can I get a Hallelujah? Getting into a new routine, setting goals and intentions, and finding some order after all the Holiday festivities is right in line with the spirit of Capricorn season. Well...Bring. It. On. Mama's got shit to do.
Speaking of shit to do....
Have you had a chance to write down your New Year's intentions yet? If so, that's awesome! And if not, it's not too late! This Museletter will inspire you to sit down with a shiny new journal and get clear about what you really want in 2019. I've got some simple reflection and intention-setting practices for you that I use in my own life. I also share an update on what it has been like to take a huge social media break and continue to practice the art of listening to my body and getting Her what she really wants.
In early November, I found my inner dialogue anything but friendly. I had a serious case of not-enoughness that started off slowly but gained way too much momentum. I was on a call with my business mentor as I went own the rabbit hole of negative thinking... My business wasn't where I wanted it to be yet. My house isn't as organized or styled as I'd like it to be. My closet isn't as hip or conscious as I wanted it to be. My body wasn't as thin as I thought it should be...pretty much I wasn't good at anything, and this limited belief screamed "I am not enough". But, where does this self-deprecation come from?
"It is only when we compare ourselves to others that we find we are not enough."
Despite knowing that people only portray a very small fraction of their lives on their heavily curated social media feeds, the images and content still get to me. At first, the marketing major in me passes it off, knowing these are just scheduled campaigns. But over time, the feeds cause me to feel insecure, pressured, and lacking. So in effort to stop the game of constant comparison, I decided to embark on a social media detox for mental health. I deleted my instagram app the week before Thanksgiving and vowed not to scroll, post, or return to my feed until sometime in January. I also figured this would be a good time to ditch the screen time habits that took me away from being fully present with my little kiddos during the Holiday season.
So what happened? I can tell you, that almost instantly, my relationship with my super sensitive and fiery 4 year old shifted She felt heard. She felt important. She wasn't competing for my attention with a device. Mostly, she felt my presence.
Two weeks into the detox, I found myself overflowing with new creative ideas and the energy to actually commit to some of them. I decided to finally start a local Full Moon Circle, launch my new signature program, More Energy Mama, and find new ways to play, dance and move my body. This was no crazy coincidence.
So where do I stand now? I dropped back onto Instagram to quickly promote the Full Moon Circle (it filled up in just one week!) and haven't been on since. I have really enjoyed this break, and need to find a better way to manage the social media thing without getting sucked into scrolling and non-enoughness. Got tips? I'd love to hear them!
Listening to Our Bodies - the Mother of all Self-Care Practices
Has it ever happened to you, where you start working out hard, only to gain weight or get a mom pooch? If you followed me on Instagram back in October, you saw I started working out 5 days per week. I was tired to not putting my exercise needs first, and wanted to get back to a training program with the hopes of getting into good shape for track season. So I made a plan and stuck to it (for the most part). That plan consisted of weight lifting and high intensity workouts among other things to get me ready for another competitive track season. But six weeks later, I noticed my mid-section was looking and feeling bloated. (Although there are many reasons for bloating, I know from my days of adrenal burnout that stress triggers cortisol and cortisol shows up in the mid-section).
So, I backed off. I told my husband, "My stomach got bigger. I think I am working out too hard, and need to back off." And as an avid cross-fitter, he responded with something dude-like such as "I work out hard, and I'm fine. Huh. Weird." But I backed off anyway and started taking hikes in nature. Over the Holiday season, I traded in cardio intervals and weight lifting for restorative yoga, and Nia. And you know what? Despite the fact that I was burning less calories from less intensive movement, my belly shrunk back down to (almost) flat, let's be real, and I stopped feeling the bloating I had dealt with the month prior.
What's this have to do with you? It's a gentle reminder that our bodies are always telling us what we need. All we have to do is listen. Our bodies will direct us towards our intuition. They ebb and flow with the cycles of the moon and the seasons. They pull us towards what we really need and our soul craves. and that, my friend, is unique to YOU.
As is your desire, so is your will.
As is your will, so is your deed.
As is your deed, so is your destiny.
Intentions, Not Resolutions
Did you know that 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail by February? It's no surprise that most resolutions don't stick. I have my own beef with resolutions. To me and many of my spiritual friends, setting a resolution means you are out to resolve something. To fix it. By implying we need "fixing" we are rolling back up in the fetal position of the world of not-enoughness. So what's a healthier way to set out for positive change? With Intentions, obvi.
Mama Manifest is all about setting intentions. It's amazing how abundant life can be when you consciously create it! The New Moon is the ideal time to set intentions, and add the New Year to that, you've got a magic combo for initiating manifestation in the months to come.
How do I set my intentions? I use Core Desired Feelings, not specific actions or restrictions that make me feel like I have to do something, or have to give something up, in order to reach my goals. Core Desired Feelings, or CDFs for short, are the root of Danielle LaPort's The Desire Map. The idea is to identify how you want to FEEL, and base everything, and I mean everything, off those feelings.
When I write down intentions without the CDF's at the forefront, I'm over here like "I intend to get to the gym 4 days/week. Or "I intend to be vegetarian at some point this year." What does that do? It makes them a lot more like those aforementioned resolutions. If I don't meet these goals, I feel like I failed. So instead, using my desired feelings to direct my intentions, the statements change to something like "I want to feel good in my body," or "I want to feel nourished from the foods I eat." From there, there is no failure.
Only simple, conscious choices you get to make to help you feel the way you intend.
See the difference? How do you want to feel? Give it a try. Bust our a pen and paper now and jot down your Core Desired Feelings. Shoot me an email and let me know what your own personal CDF's are for 2019.
New Year's Intention Setting in 3 easy steps!
Step 1. Ask yourself "What went well for me last year?"
Spend some time reviewing the events of 2018 in your mind. Note accomplishments, however small, as well as vacations or trips, workshops attended, books read, business ventures, joyful parenting moments...anything that feels good coming forward into the New Year.
Step 2. Ask yourself "What didn't go so well for me last year?
Spend some time reflecting on what didn't go so well for you last year. Without letting your inner critic take over, create a gentle inventory of what didn't work for you and your family. It could be that you didn't have enough time with your spouse, that you spent too much time scrolling on instagram, or something bigger...you know what doesn't feel good.
Step 3. Let go of what didn't work for you last year, and use it for setting your intentions.
For example, in my life, I spent way too much time scrolling on instagram. That led to two things: Me feeling like I wasn't enough, and me not being fully present for my children. So, my 2019 intentions include valuing my self-worth and being more present with the girls.
To solidify your intentions, write them down in a journal to review throughout the year.
This is your year, mama.
This year, you get to put your energy, your joy, your passion ABOVE ALL ELSE. Do this, and watch your entire life start to come into alignment. Last year, I did something radical. I went back to my sport of track and field after 15 years. Not to win, not to compare my postpartum self to my 18 year old self or the 18 year olds I competed with.... but to have fun and to show my children how to live passionately and seek opportunities that really make me feel ALIVE. It was the final piece of the puzzle I was needing to feel like myself again.
What are you going to do this year to bust through blocks and flourish in the flow of motherhood?
Hit reply and let me know. And if you are hoping for more energy in 2019 so you can actually do all the things you want to do, check out my new program More Energy Mama!
To help you jumpstart your energy this January, I'm offering you 15% off More Energy Mama if you book now through January 31st.
Simply use code: INTENTION at checkout.
Be easy on yourself, mama. That's my mantra for 2019. When I sat down to write my intentions, after listing my Core Desired Feelings, and my intentions and goals, the process prompted me to "Write a note to your future self." and this was my response. To be easy on myself, because I AM ENOUGH. And in case you need it, I grant you permission to go easy on yourself, too.
We've got an exciting year ahead with Mama Manifest! Be on the lookout for new offerings, a new look, and new ways to connect with me and other Mama Manifesters this year.
Have a fabulous Moon Cycle, and I'll catch you in February.
P.S. If you like this Museletter, I'd be honored if you shared it with your friends. Namaste!